Guys don't read-- This is Girl Stuff...

I just have to state that I absolutley detest being a girl sometimes... I am cramping really bad today. It is all that I can do not to either throw up or cry or fall asleep from a combo of the two. I think I may take something when I get to the band room- but I dunno...

that is all for now

My Rant

I just have to say that I am thoroughly fed up with the stupid people that don't know how to take care of things. I am also fed up with the teachers that don't teach, but expect you to understand everything... these are also the teachers that do nothing during class except gossip with their friends when they should be doing what they are being payed good money for. I just don't think that it is right when people do things like that. Maybe it is just my mom in me, but I don't like it one bit. I have half of a mind to report teachers like that to the boss, but I don't because that is just who I am. Passive me.
I don't necessarily like being that way. It is just who I am. I am just another teenage girl trying to make a life for myself. I am so ready for Spring Break. I am going to go to my Aunt Betty's (she's not really my aunt) house in Florida. I am so glad because we are leaving on Friday, and are not coming back until the next Saturday or Sunday. I can't wait, because I need a break. I can't think in the midst of this madness that I like to call my life. I don't know what's going on anymore. I am just one person, and I can't handle all of the things without a break. People can tell me that I am just over exaggerating, being dumb, or just being dramatic about things, but those people don't know what is going on in my head. No one but God knows every thought that I think, every tear that I shed, and every time that I am unable to cry because of the situation being too overwhelming. No one but God. He is the one that I am thinking about all of the time. I am glad for that, and I am thankful for my life and every one in it. Sometimes, though I jsut have to rant at someone. I have always loved to write, and it has become my calming state (other than being completley engulfed in God) Any time that I am so stressed I can sit down with a notebook or at a computer and I can just write. It is a rare occasion that I stay on topic when I write; therefore, I end up with something like this. Any time that I sit down and write (or type) I just let my thoughts flow and the rant slowly begins to take a turn. It becomes a self analysis and a prayer. I love the fact that God has given me a passion for writing. I may not be the best at it, but I think that it is a good thing for me. It is kind of like dancing. I love to dance. I especially love dancing for God. I want to enroll in a dance class sometime soon, but to do that you have to have money, and to have money you have to have a job (or parents with enough money to just hand it to you, and I don't have that. Money has been tight latley.) I am ready to graduate. I don't know how ready I am to be out on my own, but I am ready to be out of high school. Maybe I am maturing, but some of the people, I believe, are beginning to get more stupid. I know that it sounds mean, but, trust me, it is completley true. I hate it when people just stop in the middle of a hall way, mess with school property or other things like that. It just irks me to think that these people have to potential to be the leaders of the free world.
thanks for listening.
You didn't have to but you did, and I am greatful for that.

Just a Note on a Beautiful Day

Sometimes, you have to dance in the midst of chaos.
Other times, you don't have to say a word.
Most times. you have to fast.
All times, you have to pray.

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Albert Einstein

The most beautiful experience we can have is the mysterious.
Albert Einstein

Sometimes, you have to lose something to realize how much you loved it. You can't have the good stuff forever. There is too much good stuff out there to be hooked on just one good thing. I think I just over stayed my welcome on guard. It was just my time to move on. I thoroughly believe that if God wanted me to still be there He would have made it, not easier, but a little better. I loved it while it lasted, but it was time for bigger and better things. I don't know what would have happened if I had not walked out when I did. Who knows? I could have died that night, or something that was not in God's plan might have happened. I don't know... but HE does. My grandmother pointed out over the weekend that I looked better, and stress free. Although the stress part is not fully true... I do feel better. It amazes me sometimes how God will change things in our lives. It can be the smallest thing, like losing your keys, or something HUGE, like quitting a school activity on a competition day, that He changes to make our lifes better, and to fit them into HIS will. I don't blame anyone for what happened, nor do I try to have a pitty party for myself, but I will say this. I trust that God kept me from something that fateful day, and there is nothing that anyone can say contrart to that.
I love the way life feels now. It is GRAND.
I am ready for vacation, though.
I am ready to leave the land, and
head to my beloved sea
and just lay under the sun,
play in the wave,
and possible build a sand castle...
or an entirely new world....

“My alphabet starts with this letter called yuzz. It's the letter I use to spell yuzz-a-ma-tuzz. You'll be sort of surprised what there is to be found once you go beyond 'Z' and start poking around!” - Dr. Seuss

thanks for listening.
-sam